Kurtka na Wacie

From a distant cousin, Grzegorz, I have received instructions, formulated it appears by a native Catholic bishop, for “cursing” in Polish without recourse to actual obscenity or violation of the II^nd  Commandment. As you can imagine, though a curious document, its recommendations are highly unsatisfactory. The good bishop has no idea what he’s talking about. While do kroćset beczek, kurczę pieczone, kuchnia felek, and kurtka na wacie contain some of the velar and fricatival elements necessary for real invective, and while some of the words mimic or allude to genuinely offensive syllables in the language, (think “fudge,” “son of a biscuit,” and “bullfeathers”) the phrases themselves are heinously benign. “Short jacket to cotton balls” just doesn’t generate the necessary heat. So beyond next week, Holy Week, I won’t be using these.